The Subject of Gossip

Just got back from Chicago. I drove the whole way with all three kids by myself. It wasn't that bad at all, I have great kids and they are wonderful travelers. Last night we got to Madison, then stopped over for some sleep, to wake up early and get right on the road.

Had to stop by noon to eat and re-energize. Instead of the usual fast-food pit stop, I decided to take the fam to Perkins. Decent food, hot meal, we got to sit down and talk. So...

A large party is sat near us and I was listening a little bit to their conversations. Just by innocent proximity, not from trying to listen in. Something about selling the Nintendo DS, so-and-so getting married. Then I overheard something that could only be about ME.

The grandmother (or so I assume) said, "well I don't see a wedding ring... but some people don't wear...so maybe...."

I guess I provoke speculation. What am I doing traveling with three small children by myself? Is she alone? Is she married? Why is she alone? I am sure I invoke all kinds of questions. Not malicious, or probing, just human curiosity. And I don't blame them. I look young - a young mother alone.

Be at Peace

I went to church tonight for the kids' faith formation and spent some time in the adoration chapel. I had never done this. It was so great. I decided that I would say a rosary for my kids. Tomorrow is the day we talk to them about the divorce. Ugh!!

I was in the adoration chapel and I was trying very hard to hear from God. It is very hard for me and I struggle with it. My mind wanders, or I just feel that I can’t hear from him directly when I pray. I feel my conversations are very one-sided with him. After the rosary I just sat there, cleared my mind, and I felt so peaceful. I literally felt a warm embrace. I felt that I was being squeezed by a huge hug – I know that God was putting his arms around me. What I heard was “Be at peace. Rest.” I kept repeating it to myself, the whole way home.

Be at peace. I am also working on that. I think that what that means is verification that I am doing a good job. Be at peace with the decisions I make and the things I do right now. Be at peace with my life as it is right this very moment. OK.
Then…rest. I don’t have to do it all. I don’t have to take on everything and do it all to perfection. I can rest. Literally and metaphorically. I can just BE.

The Dog Ate My Carpet

Oh. My. Gosh.
I woke up early this morning, came downstairs with the baby, and went to open the shades in the front living room. I saw it...a bare spot in my carpet about the size of a quarter.
My jaw hit the floor.
Sunny, the dog, had been licking the same spot on the carpet for a while. The baby had thrown up there about a month ago, but I had wet it down, washed it and thought it was cleaned up. I thought that she was just licking it clean, but seriously, there is a hole in my carpet! A freakin hole!!!

Breathe...breathe...breathe...

OK. I'm better. I have nice carpet, it's cushy and clean and ivory. And I can't move furniture over this spot to hide it, either. Plus - have you ever tried to repair carpet? I can always see the seams in carpets, no matter how good the carpet layers are. Ugh!!

I am calling my dad today to see if he will take her for awhile. I just can't keep up with three kids, maintaining the house, the yard, my own life, bills, activities, and the dog. I love her dearly but seriously.