Furniture

I have NEVER purchased new furniture. I am 31 years old, and every piece of anything in my house is used. (Other than some Ikea bedside tables which don't count because Ikea furniture is not real furniture.)


That's really sad when I type it out for the world to see. Used couches, used tables, used TV, used bookshelves, used dresser.

Now, when I got married we had no money. I mean like eating cream of chicken on spaghetti noodles for dinner no-money. My in-laws bought us a new mattress, but everything else in our apartment was used. We bought things online, had things given to us, and had a hod-podge of furniture. I was 21, so fine. I didn't care.

When more babies came, and we owned a house, I still would not buy anything new. We were eating chicken in our dinners now, but I couldn't bring myself to spend the money. When the dog ate the couch (literally ate the foam right out of the back of the couch) I didn't replace it. I got a huge-ass roll of duct tape and a new slip cover. Still have that eaten up couch today.

Rules about children and furniture:
1. No play-doh inside. This is a play-doh free zone. Play outside with it all you want but do not bring that stuff in my house. It is evil.
2. Children may not eat or drink on any carpeted area of my house. Ever.
3. Carpets must be professionally cleaned once per year.
4. I refuse to buy new furniture until there are no sippy cups or pull-ups in my house.

I still have never bought any brand new, from a real-life furniture store, furniture. None.
I am really sad about that actually, but I think that it would be ruined within hours at the most. Someone would throw up on it or something. Plus, I would much rather take a slip cover off when it's too full of dog hair, than try to get the dog hair out of a couch. It's super fun to take off the slip cover and empty it on the laundry room floor to see what kinds of things I find. And, my mother thinks that I am the master of putting a slip cover on a couch. I require a wooden spoon, which she thinks is hilarious and is always in awe at my slipcovering skills.

My dog-eaten, slip-cover couch

So if you come visit my house and nothing matches, it's because I refuse to invest in something that is going to be ruined. Yes, I am in my thirties and have a slipcover couch. I have re-used tables I stained myself, and I have beat up stools at the counter. They also might be covered in jelly, but I don't care, so watch out when you sit down.